I watched Derek and his son washing my car, as I stood at the sink, molding patties for our bar-b-que that night. They were having an animated discussion about something, lots of back and forth over the top of my car. The son is really tall at 15, just like his dad.

 Derek does all kinds of work on cars, and on the weekends he and his son keep my car and those of lots of my neighbors in tip-top shape. He’s a really interesting guy. We talk basketball, healthcare reform, the state of LA city schools. You name it, we have chewed on it.

 This is an amazing scene, I thought as I was transfixed on this father and son team.  Every single Saturday and Sunday they spend at least 16 hours together, washing, waxing, detailing cars.  I wondered if they knew how lucky they both are, if they appreciate the significance of their hours together every single weekend. I left my kitchen perch. “Hey guys. I have been watching you two yakking it up, and I just wanted to tell you how cool I think it is to see a father and son working together, chatting it up, chewing the fat, schmoozing. Do you know how great that is?”   They both just smiled, nodded, and were silent.  And then the son said, “My dad and I are really close. We talk about everything.”

 How many dads would, seriously, trade places with Derek?

 Derek added, “Last week I was doing this guy’s car and he came out to show me his new Rolex and to tell about the car he was thinking about buying.  I have it so much better than he does,” Derek said with total conviction. I punctuated his comment with my two cents, “No one ever lies on his death bed wishing he had worked harder at the office or earned more money.”  Derek knew just what I was talking about.

 Derek has been bringing his son with him to work on cars on the weekends since he was five years old.  As his son grew up, Derek discovered that he really valued his son’s help. They were a team in getting the work done. Soon another brother is going to be joining them on the job. Ten years ago when this father-son team first got going, Derek didn’t know the gift he was giving his son and himself.

 We know how important fathers are in the lives of children. Their involved, active participation in their kids’ daily lives influences all aspects of their development, from social skills to cognitive development. There’s lots of research to support this reality.  But influence isn’t just occasional.  Derek is impacting his sons’ lives every single day and most especially on the weekends.

 Can you imagine what kind of fathers Derek’s sons will be? Can you imagine how they will describe their own relationships with their dad as they were growing up?  Now would you trade places with Derek?

It seems like there is something for everyone in this Winter Olympics, and it’s easy to become an addict. The entire event is packed with heart-racing excitement as well as examples of natural talent, acquired skill, and athleticism.  Don’t you just sit on the edge of your chair?

But there is more.  While I am a believer in limited screen time for children, especially commercial television, the Olympics are providing our children (and us) with important lessons and messages that are hard to find in daily life, making the screen time well worth it.  In fact, I think the Olympics give new meaning to the show title American Idol.

Did you watch Lindsay Vonn’s Gold Medal run in the Women’s Down Hill?  My heart raced right along with her skis.  Her elation upon winning was contagious.  And her cathartic tears as she described the extreme effort she put forth, the result of which was achieving her goal and her dream, told the tale. 

The same held true for Shaun White, the Red Tomato, and watching him was better than Cirque du Soleil!  A fellow snow boarder described the amount of effort and time he put into his perfecting his tricks and style, “We didn’t see him for a year.”

The athletes of the Olympics are providing just the kinds of heroes we want our kids to have: people who dream big, who set goals, who have passion and devotion, who take risks, who work incredibly hard, who sacrifice who give their all. 

Even though most of the events of the Olympics are individual, each athlete is part of a team, either a specific event team or the country team.  Watching each participant cheer for his team mates, sharing the successes and the disappointments, is a magnificent demonstration of empathy and team loyalty.  Sometimes you lose, but you really can be  thrilled that your teammate has won at the same time.

Some of the athletes reached the moon; but most did not. And that is an equally, if not more important message. You can set you sights high, you can give your very best effort and still not win the medal.  How often do our children get to see failure (of sorts), disappointment, modeled?  Not very often.   The athletes of the Olympics are models of sportsmanship. No tantrums and running away for them!  And the best part?  Those same skiers get up the next day, snap on their skis and try again…and again and again.

 If you haven’t shared the lessons of the Olympics, you still have a chance. Take the time to introduce your children to some real idols, American and all the others.