As often happens, over the weekend I ran into a client at the grocery store. Mid aisle we stopped for a brief greeting. As soon as the mom began to speak to me, her son piped up with, “Mom, Mom, can we get some Gatorade?” tugging at her jacket. “Please don’t interrupt me,” she calmly reminded her son and rewound the tape to complete her thought with me. “Excuse me. Excuse me, Mom? Mom? Excuse me.” he demanded. “Wait a minute, Steven. I am talking to Betsy,” Mom … [Read more...] about Excuse Me…and Dont’ Interrupt!
Behavior
Your Child is “Shy” Around Strangers
An Interview with Betsy by Heidi Stevens of the Chicago Tribune Q: Your kindergartener is extremely shy around strangers. How do you get her to warm up to relatives she only sees at the holidays? Few topics are more complicated than family at the holidays, which is why Betsy Brown BraunÖ, author of “You're Not the Boss of Me: Brat-proofing Your Four- to Twelve-Year-Old Child” (Harper Paperbacks)Ö, suggests a four-pronged approach. No. 1. Change your language. “I never use the ‘s’ word,” … [Read more...] about Your Child is “Shy” Around Strangers
To Bring or Not To Bring…Part 2
It had been a work week filled with families who had lots of heavy issues, and I was drained. A relaxed, peaceful dinner out with my husband was just a parking spot away. Our destination— a lovely, local restaurant, upscale but informal, delicious martinis, and no kids’ menu. At last. But the characteristic low lights and calm of the Oak Room were punctured by the incessant whining of a four year old boy. “I haaaaate that salad.” Groan…there went my respite. I am not sure when it became … [Read more...] about To Bring or Not To Bring…Part 2
To Bring or Not to Bring
A friend who is an event planner and I recently shared the dilemma of what to do when guests, often family, want to bring their (young) children to formal events. Having planned three weddings in the last 22 months, it is a question that is not unfamiliar to me. For one of our weddings a family member flat out refused to come if she could not bring her infant child. And many years ago at my children’s B’Nai mitzvah the spiritual atmosphere of the sanctuary was shattered by the wailings of my … [Read more...] about To Bring or Not to Bring
Don’t Take it Personally
“You’re the meanest mommy in the whole world!” the seven year old screams at her mother, as she stomps down the hall to her room, punctuating the scene with a crashing door slam. There’s not much that’s good about that scene, except that it is well within the range of normal behavior. You may not like it, but it is what most kids do at some times. Kids get angry at their parents for all kinds of reasons. Mainly they get angry when they are in some way thwarted—when they don’t get what they … [Read more...] about Don’t Take it Personally
Lousy Local Conditions
While I cannot take credit for inventing the expression lousy local conditions, I use it all the time. It’s just so right-on-the-button. Lousy local conditions refers to those times when a child’s less than perfect behaviors are magnified or even created by the conditions of his environment. The child who has missed a nap or a meal, who went to sleep late or woke up too early, who has been dragged on too many errands, who has attended one birthday party too many, who had a bad day at school, … [Read more...] about Lousy Local Conditions