• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to secondary sidebar

Betsy Brown Braun

Child Development and Behavior Specialist. Parent Educator. Best Selling Author

  • Home
  • What’s New
    • Upcoming Appearances
    • Video Seminars on Demand
    • In the News
    • Ask BBB – Columns from the Palisadian-Post
  • About
  • Services
    • Register Now
    • Private Consultations
      • Consultation Policies
    • Custody Consultation; Co-Parenting Planning/Implementation
    • Concierge Consulting
    • Parenting Seminars
    • In-Person Parenting Seminars
    • Video Seminars on Demand
    • Parenting Groups
    • Monthly Parenting Groups FALL 2023 through MAY 2024
    • Speaker and Seminar Topics
  • Recommendations
    • Betsy’s Books
    • Books Betsy Recommends
    • Special Children’s Books
    • Books: Special Issues
    • Articles
  • Betsyisms
    • Questions and Answers
    • Video Shorts
    • Video Seminars on Demand
    • Well Said
  • Blog
    • All Blog Entries
  • Testimonials
    • Parents
    • Pediatricians/Professionals
  • Media
    • Magazines
    • Television
    • Newspapers
    • Internet
    • Radio
    • Podcasts
    • Electronic Press Kit
  • Contact

Your Children Are Watching You!

by Betsy Brown Braun on July 19, 2010, under Communication, Environmental influences, Parent modeling, Parenting

“Coach Accused of Punching Son”  The headline in the LA Times caught my eye.  A youth baseball coach is facing a simple assault charge for punching his 9 year old son in the face after the boy was ejected from a game.  Are they kidding? I read it again.  [Coach’s name] of suburban Harrisburg was charged after he allegedly struck his son twice with a closed fist…  I read it one more time to make sure I was reading it correctly. Yep, that’s what it said alright.

What could a 9 year old possibly do to cause an adult to punch his son—or anyone—with a closed fist—with a pinky finger? I just can’t make sense of this one.  Did he play poorly? Did he not try hard? Was he goofing around?  Did he not do as his father, the coach, asked? Was he being a smart alec? Did he stick his tongue out? What? Even if he yelled an unmentionable at the top of his lungs, I still can’t fathom a man  hitting a child, any child.

 There are so many directions one could go in reacting to this heinous behavior. I could address parents who are overly invested in their child’s performance at school, on the ice rink, on the ball field. I could discuss the parent who makes it his child’s job it is to meet his dream of achievement.  I could even go on and on about anger management.

 While I don’t know what really happened on the field that day, I do know one thing for sure: Lots of children  must have witnessed that scene, and for sure his own son did.  I can promise you, that boy got more than black eye from his father.

Parents are children’s primary teachers. Children learn more from watching their parents than by anything that that is said to them, even if it is accompanied by a wagging index finger and eyebrows knitted together.  “Do as I say, not as I do” is an expression of the past, and it just doesn’t work.  Parents model, day in and day out, how to be in the world. You can talk until you are blue in the face, but what you do is what your children will learn.  Not only will your behavior communicate your expectations for behavior, but it is also how your child develops his own system of values.

 Children spot hypocrisy more quickly than you can imagine. Yelling at your child not to yell at you because it is disrespectful is a message and a lesson. Jay walking because you are in terrible hurry erases your warnings of never to jay walk.  Speaking rudely to a waitress, to your own mother, to your own spouse negates your preaching the importance of treating people kindly and with respect.  It is your actions that model the lessons you want your children to learn.

 I wonder what lesson’s Mel Gibson’s 8 children learned from him last week.

: Anger, Anger management, Parent bad behavior, Parenting, Respect, Values
Leave a Comment

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe to receive news, articles and blogs from Betsy

"I do know so deeply what you have brought to me, Stephane, and the girls as a family.  They would definitely be little assholes without my Betsy’s wise words over the years LOL." -Katy Strouk - Mom of 2 girls--a teen and post college girl.

My wife and I watched your Discipline Video last night . It was ENORMOUSLY helpful...45 years of wisdom in 45 minutes!

-Brian Goldsmith, father of two young children

When you [Betsy] speak, everything just sort of clicks and all the chaos going on around us seems to have order once again. We really appreciate your help and insight.

-Carter Horton Thomas, father of two girls

Betsy is quite simply pure magic. Through the ups and downs of parenting, she is a constant source of tremendous guidance, , wisdom, and comfort. Having Betsy as a trusted resource, as I navigate life with two boys, is truly a blessing.

-Rebecca Jonah, mother of two boys

I have participated in Betsy’s groups and private consultations over the past decade-plus. I find her guidance to be experience and research-based. And I respond to her no-bullshit directness. Her support helps me feel like I am working to be the best mom I can be; knowledgeable, present, and open. Being in the groups has given me so much confidence as a parent, plus camaraderie and lifelong friends with my fellow mom members. Betsy is the rock, sounding board, expert, and friend everyone needs while navigating the parenting journey.

-Meredith Alexander, mother of two boys

Betsy is quite simply pure magic. Through the ups and downs of parenting (and life!), she is a constant source of tremendous guidance and wisdom and comfort. Having Betsy as a trusted resource (who has literally seen it all) as I navigate life with two boys is truly a blessing.

-Rebecca Jonah, mother of two boys

You’re like a drug and it’s hard to get enough of your wisdom so thank you!

-Maryam Shahrokhi, Pediatrician in LA

Your voice is so often in my head as I navigate the adventures (good, bad, and yes, sometimes ugly) of parenting. I can’t imagine what I would have done all these years without it...it’s like a touchstone that keeps me on track.

-Thea Andrews Wolf, mom of 2 middle school boys

We’ve been overwhelmed by the outpouring of positive response in our community from the PA Forum Betsy held for our Middle and High School parents. We are all discussing our implementation of her practical, meaningful advice - from how to respond to our teen's and tween’s meltdowns to how to deal with their messy rooms. Additionally she helped frame parenting (and over-parenting) during this challenging time as well as normalize our parental anxieties.Thank you Betsy!

-Leigh Morales, MS PA Forum Chair, The Greenhill School, Dallas TX

A parenting guru.

-The New York Times

Betsy offers the clearest, calming, and most helpful advice there is on parenting...She's like having the smartest, coolest, and amazingly right mom just a phone call away.

-Jane Buckingham, Author of The Modern Girls Guide to Life and The Modern Girls Guide to Motherhood

Betsy Brown Braun is a fine observer of children…

-Dr. Robert M. Landaw, Pediatrician

Betsy keeps it real. She respects parents and children and gives parents the straight scoop about productive communication. I turn to her insights again and again.

-Alexis Bircoll Martin, mother of two

Your talk really helped me in becoming a more “open” parent and less worried about little things that really don’t matter and restrict kids in a negative way.

-Nina Hong, mother

Betsy got me over the bumps of raising two young boys and over the moguls of raising teenage boys. She is my rock.

-Deidra Hall

Betsy’s private consultations are fabulous. She has a gift for understanding all different types of children and giving advice that works for your particular child.

-Craig Mallery

I love the way you think and how clear you make the issues seem. You are so brilliant and I love how perceptive and straightforward you are. You anchor me and the things you say make a lot of sense.

-Leigh Nickoll, Marriage and Family Counselor

Betsy is always able to come up with simple and unique approaches to common parenting problems as well as more complex issues. What she says makes good sense and always works...

-Joanna VanTrees Cowitt, mother of a boy and a girl, Los Angeles, CA

Betsy Brown Braun is a master teacher and one of the wisest parenting experts I have ever known.

-Steven Carr Reuben, Ph.D., author of Children of Character

Betsy is a wise, humorous, and caring advisor... Due in large part to Betsy, we are smarter parents and our children are happier and healthier as a result.

-Steven Webber, father of two boys

Betsy Brown Braun’s class has been an incredible experience for me. Her wisdom, combined with a rare and wonderful sense of humor, has helped me become a better parent.

-Deborah Gleiberman, mother of three children

Betsy is our modern-day version of the ‘village elder’ from whom we all seek counsel. Her suggestions have enabled me to respond to my children’s questions and curiosity in a way that respects their intelligence without confusing them.

-Paulina Ladreyt, mother of twin boys, Santa Monica, CA

Seminars, groups and consulting
Engagements, media, presentations, and video seminars
Just Tell Me What to Say and You’re Not The Boss of Me. Buy them today!
On Demand Parenting Seminars.
Smooth the Start to the New School Year 2018...

Secondary Sidebar

Seminars, groups and consulting
Engagements, media, presentations, and video seminars
Just Tell Me What to Say and You’re Not The Boss of Me. Buy them today!
On Demand Parenting Seminars.
Read the latest blog posts from Betsy.

Betsy Brown Braun

  • Home
  • What’s New
  • About
  • Services
  • Recommendations
  • Betsyisms
  • Blog
  • Testimonials
  • Media
  • Contact