Current research on the topic of empathy in children points to likelihood that infants as young as 6 months have the ability to demonstrate empathy. Whether or how empathy develops as the child grows is a whole different story. Here we go again, nature vs nurture. A recent experience points to an answer. Shockingly, I recently stared cancer in the face. Even I, the healthiest person I know, did not escape the reach of the Big C. A totally successful surgery was followed by a less successful … [Read more...] about Circle the Wagons. How children learn to express empathy.
Relationships
How Will Your Kids Remember You?
I’ve just returned from a funeral. A friend’s husband, father of five, died way before his time was up. And it was a five Kleenex affair. My mirror neurons, the ones that make you match the emotions of others, were hard at work. (You know when someone yawns, and you yawn? Those are your mirror neurons.) But the tsunami of tears I experienced went beyond my sympathy or empathy. They started when his children then his wife spoke about their father/husband. Each of the kids, now grown and … [Read more...] about How Will Your Kids Remember You?
When A Pet Dies. Part 2 – for children 7 years and older
“So, how do you handle the death of a pet when your child is older than 7 years?” asked a client after reading my previous blog, When a Pet Dies. Good question. As children grow and mature, they begin to understand death differently. Children older than 7 years are able to see death as permanent. The dead pet is not coming back, ever. But the child is still young in his understanding, so he could engage in what is known as “magical thinking.” What he thinks, actually could happen. For … [Read more...] about When A Pet Dies. Part 2 – for children 7 years and older
When A Pet Dies
More times that I can count, I have received a call from a parent saying sadly,“We have to put our dog down. I just can imagine what I am going to say to my little boy.” And every single time I kick myself for not including such an important and weighty question in the chapter, Learning About Death, that is in my book, Just Tell Me What to Say. As with all learning, the child’s curiosity about, awareness and understanding of death grows bit by bit, one piece built on the last, like … [Read more...] about When A Pet Dies
Time Release Gifts
Chanukah is around the corner, and there are just three weeks until Christmas. The world is kicking into high gear for the holidays. It’s inescapable. The media, advertisers, merchants are targeting our children and us, pointing us towards their ultimate goal: buy buy buy. It’s no wonder that children across the country are whining and begging for stuff. But maybe it isn’t that stuff that makes the best holiday gifts…or makes the holidays memorable. Do you remember what you received when … [Read more...] about Time Release Gifts
It’s Hard to Shut Up
I finally figured it out. I have found the magic key for getting along with your adult children. Whatever comes into your head to say, don’t say it. This is especially true when those adult children become parents. Relationships are evolutionary. Parent-child is no exception. It starts in one place and over time ends up in quite another, or it should anyway. Parents’ roles adapt and shift with every change in the child’s development, keeping step with his need to sprout wings and fly … [Read more...] about It’s Hard to Shut Up