You tell your child it’s time for bed. Instead of the pitter patter of feet running up the stairs, you get “Whyyyyyyy?” All parents have heard it. The funny thing is, you know your child isn’t really looking for an answer. “Well, dear, your body needs sleep in order for the all the cells to grow…” certainly isn’t what your son is expecting to hear. To the child, Whyyyyy? can serve many different purposes, the least common of which is actually finding out information. Why? is most often … [Read more...] about The Trouble With “Whyyyyyyyyyyy?”
Talking to Kids (or NOT) About What Happened in Connecticut
There are no good words to explain to anyone—let alone to kids—what happened at the elementary school in Connecticut this morning. The horrific incident is every parent’s worst nightmare, unfathomable and unspeakable. The air is heavy with the horror. The president of our country wept during his speech to the nation. This is one of those times when parents’ confidence disappears; they are rendered tongue-tied. How do you explain that twenty young children (and some grown-ups) were killed … [Read more...] about Talking to Kids (or NOT) About What Happened in Connecticut
Time Release Gifts
Chanukah is around the corner, and there are just three weeks until Christmas. The world is kicking into high gear for the holidays. It’s inescapable. The media, advertisers, merchants are targeting our children and us, pointing us towards their ultimate goal: buy buy buy. It’s no wonder that children across the country are whining and begging for stuff. But maybe it isn’t that stuff that makes the best holiday gifts…or makes the holidays memorable. Do you remember what you received when … [Read more...] about Time Release Gifts
It’s Hard to Shut Up
I finally figured it out. I have found the magic key for getting along with your adult children. Whatever comes into your head to say, don’t say it. This is especially true when those adult children become parents. Relationships are evolutionary. Parent-child is no exception. It starts in one place and over time ends up in quite another, or it should anyway. Parents’ roles adapt and shift with every change in the child’s development, keeping step with his need to sprout wings and fly … [Read more...] about It’s Hard to Shut Up
Throw Away Your Parenting Books
“I’m almost finished reading [parenting book],” the first-time mom confessed, “and I have to tell you, it’s really stressing me out!” “Well, don’t read it! ” I urged. “Just put it away.” (I think I actually suggested that she throw it away.) That’s kind of an odd recommendation from a parenting expert who has written two award winning parenting books.* But I meant it sincerely. It was the part about teaching young children foreign languages, Mandarin, in particular, that did her in and … [Read more...] about Throw Away Your Parenting Books
You Are Who You Are When No One is Looking
The mother unwrapped the straw, poked it into the little box, and handed the drink to her toddler as they walked out of the grocery store. The sliver of straw paper slipped from the mother’s hand. I doubt that she even noticed it. Rolling my grocery cart back to its stable, I looked around to see how many carts were randomly parked, willy-nilly throughout the lot, nowhere near the stable. Who leaves her cart to roll into the next parked car? Since my greatest interest and life’s work … [Read more...] about You Are Who You Are When No One is Looking