“You’re the meanest mommy in the whole world!” the seven year old screams at her mother, as she stomps down the hall to her room, punctuating the scene with a crashing door slam. There’s not much that’s good about that scene, except that it is well within the range of normal behavior. You may not like it, but it is what most kids do at some times. Kids get angry at their parents for all kinds of reasons. Mainly they get angry when they are in some way thwarted—when they don’t get what they … [Read more...] about Don’t Take it Personally
When Should I Have “the Talk” With My Child?
One woman remained after the rest of the participants in my “Birds and Bees” seminar had left. Sheepishly she said, “My daughter is 9 years old. I have not [her emphasis] told her about the birds and the bees and I am not going to,” as if in defiance. Here’s her answer to my query of “Why not?” “Because I don’t want her to have sex before she is married.” This mom is enrolled in the ostrich school of sex education; her head is buried in the ground. Children begin to learn about sex from … [Read more...] about When Should I Have “the Talk” With My Child?
Leave the Babies Alone?
It’s hard not to love the movie Babies. That’s what I chose to do for my Mothers’ Day observance. It was kind of like eating chocolate… all good! There were none of the not-so-fun parts of babies, like colic and diarrhea and sleepless nights. Just one oooo and ahhhhh after another. But the cute is not what stuck with me. Several days later, I am thinking about the stark contrast in the way the Japanese and the American babies were parented compared to the African and Mongolian babies. The … [Read more...] about Leave the Babies Alone?
Follow YOUR Passion
A Mother’s Day blog should be meaningful, perhaps profound, poignant, maybe a little sappy, and really chock full of platitudes about the importance of mothers. It should be, but I am on a different journey. I was sitting in Disney Hall, watching the dynamic Gustavo Dudamel and listening to the brilliant Los Angeles Philharmonic with my dear friend, Freida Mock. I sat there thinking how angry I am that music education has been cut from public schools and how important it is that children be … [Read more...] about Follow YOUR Passion
Lousy Local Conditions
While I cannot take credit for inventing the expression lousy local conditions, I use it all the time. It’s just so right-on-the-button. Lousy local conditions refers to those times when a child’s less than perfect behaviors are magnified or even created by the conditions of his environment. The child who has missed a nap or a meal, who went to sleep late or woke up too early, who has been dragged on too many errands, who has attended one birthday party too many, who had a bad day at school, … [Read more...] about Lousy Local Conditions
Brats are not born
In response to my recent appearance on the Today Show – http://www.clicker.com/tv/today-show/Brat-proof-your-child-866570.html in case you missed it! — a woman wrote to tell me I was off base. She said that children are naturally brats and are naturally selfish. While I would not be quick to countradict this mother of 4 and grandmother of 11 who clearly has a lot of experience, I must say she is right and she is wrong. She is correct: children are born selfish. Infants and toddlers … [Read more...] about Brats are not born