I’ve just returned from a funeral. A friend’s husband, father of five, died way before his time was up. And it was a five Kleenex affair. My mirror neurons, the ones that make you match the emotions of others, were hard at work. (You know when someone yawns, and you yawn? Those are your mirror neurons.) But the tsunami of tears I experienced went beyond my sympathy or empathy. They started when his children then his wife spoke about their father/husband. Each of the kids, now grown and … [Read more...] about How Will Your Kids Remember You?
Sensitive Topics
When A Pet Dies. Part 2 – for children 7 years and older
“So, how do you handle the death of a pet when your child is older than 7 years?” asked a client after reading my previous blog, When a Pet Dies. Good question. As children grow and mature, they begin to understand death differently. Children older than 7 years are able to see death as permanent. The dead pet is not coming back, ever. But the child is still young in his understanding, so he could engage in what is known as “magical thinking.” What he thinks, actually could happen. For … [Read more...] about When A Pet Dies. Part 2 – for children 7 years and older
When A Pet Dies
More times that I can count, I have received a call from a parent saying sadly,“We have to put our dog down. I just can imagine what I am going to say to my little boy.” And every single time I kick myself for not including such an important and weighty question in the chapter, Learning About Death, that is in my book, Just Tell Me What to Say. As with all learning, the child’s curiosity about, awareness and understanding of death grows bit by bit, one piece built on the last, like … [Read more...] about When A Pet Dies
Talking to Kids (or NOT) About What Happened in Connecticut
There are no good words to explain to anyone—let alone to kids—what happened at the elementary school in Connecticut this morning. The horrific incident is every parent’s worst nightmare, unfathomable and unspeakable. The air is heavy with the horror. The president of our country wept during his speech to the nation. This is one of those times when parents’ confidence disappears; they are rendered tongue-tied. How do you explain that twenty young children (and some grown-ups) were killed … [Read more...] about Talking to Kids (or NOT) About What Happened in Connecticut
The Odd Life of Parents Who Laugh at Their Children
The viral video of the two boys emoting after seeing The Odd Life of Timothy Green made my blood boil. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aFV1r45sAQ In the video two boys, perhaps 7 and 9 years old, are crying as they try to discuss the movie they had just seen, and the parents, filming the scene, can be heard laughing. I saw the film last week. My husband and I might have been the only adults in the theater unaccompanied by children. No matter to me. Is this really a kids’ movie? I wondered. … [Read more...] about The Odd Life of Parents Who Laugh at Their Children
The Aurora Shooting: How to Talk to Kids About What Happened in Colorado
The horrific tragedy in Colorado has left us all speechless, shaking our heads in disbelief. How could this have happened? Could anything have been done to stop this mad man? And what can we possibly tell our children…if they ask? Parents are rendered tongue-tied when it comes to talking to their kids about many different kinds of things—sex, death, God. But when it is a topic that is terrifying and may create fear where none existed previously, then we are dumbstruck, reduced to being … [Read more...] about The Aurora Shooting: How to Talk to Kids About What Happened in Colorado