“So, how do you handle the death of a pet when your child is older than 7 years?” asked a client after reading my previous blog, When a Pet Dies. Good question. As children grow and mature, they begin to understand death differently. Children older than 7 years are able to see death as permanent. The dead pet is not coming back, ever. But the child is still young in his understanding, so he could engage in what is known as “magical thinking.” What he thinks, actually could happen. For … [Read more...] about When A Pet Dies. Part 2 – for children 7 years and older
Behavior
When A Pet Dies
More times that I can count, I have received a call from a parent saying sadly,“We have to put our dog down. I just can imagine what I am going to say to my little boy.” And every single time I kick myself for not including such an important and weighty question in the chapter, Learning About Death, that is in my book, Just Tell Me What to Say. As with all learning, the child’s curiosity about, awareness and understanding of death grows bit by bit, one piece built on the last, like … [Read more...] about When A Pet Dies
The Trouble With “Whyyyyyyyyyyy?”
You tell your child it’s time for bed. Instead of the pitter patter of feet running up the stairs, you get “Whyyyyyyy?” All parents have heard it. The funny thing is, you know your child isn’t really looking for an answer. “Well, dear, your body needs sleep in order for the all the cells to grow…” certainly isn’t what your son is expecting to hear. To the child, Whyyyyy? can serve many different purposes, the least common of which is actually finding out information. Why? is most often … [Read more...] about The Trouble With “Whyyyyyyyyyyy?”
Throw Away Your Parenting Books
“I’m almost finished reading [parenting book],” the first-time mom confessed, “and I have to tell you, it’s really stressing me out!” “Well, don’t read it! ” I urged. “Just put it away.” (I think I actually suggested that she throw it away.) That’s kind of an odd recommendation from a parenting expert who has written two award winning parenting books.* But I meant it sincerely. It was the part about teaching young children foreign languages, Mandarin, in particular, that did her in and … [Read more...] about Throw Away Your Parenting Books
You Are Who You Are When No One is Looking
The mother unwrapped the straw, poked it into the little box, and handed the drink to her toddler as they walked out of the grocery store. The sliver of straw paper slipped from the mother’s hand. I doubt that she even noticed it. Rolling my grocery cart back to its stable, I looked around to see how many carts were randomly parked, willy-nilly throughout the lot, nowhere near the stable. Who leaves her cart to roll into the next parked car? Since my greatest interest and life’s work … [Read more...] about You Are Who You Are When No One is Looking
The Aurora Shooting: How to Talk to Kids About What Happened in Colorado
The horrific tragedy in Colorado has left us all speechless, shaking our heads in disbelief. How could this have happened? Could anything have been done to stop this mad man? And what can we possibly tell our children…if they ask? Parents are rendered tongue-tied when it comes to talking to their kids about many different kinds of things—sex, death, God. But when it is a topic that is terrifying and may create fear where none existed previously, then we are dumbstruck, reduced to being … [Read more...] about The Aurora Shooting: How to Talk to Kids About What Happened in Colorado