“So, how do you handle the death of a pet when your child is older than 7 years?” asked a client after reading my previous blog, When a Pet Dies. Good question. As children grow and mature, they begin to understand death differently. Children older than 7 years are able to see death as permanent. The dead pet is not coming back, ever. But the child is still young in his understanding, so he could engage in what is known as “magical thinking.” What he thinks, actually could happen. For … [Read more...] about When A Pet Dies. Part 2 – for children 7 years and older
Parenting
When A Pet Dies
More times that I can count, I have received a call from a parent saying sadly,“We have to put our dog down. I just can imagine what I am going to say to my little boy.” And every single time I kick myself for not including such an important and weighty question in the chapter, Learning About Death, that is in my book, Just Tell Me What to Say. As with all learning, the child’s curiosity about, awareness and understanding of death grows bit by bit, one piece built on the last, like … [Read more...] about When A Pet Dies
Talking to Kids (or NOT) About What Happened in Connecticut
There are no good words to explain to anyone—let alone to kids—what happened at the elementary school in Connecticut this morning. The horrific incident is every parent’s worst nightmare, unfathomable and unspeakable. The air is heavy with the horror. The president of our country wept during his speech to the nation. This is one of those times when parents’ confidence disappears; they are rendered tongue-tied. How do you explain that twenty young children (and some grown-ups) were killed … [Read more...] about Talking to Kids (or NOT) About What Happened in Connecticut
Time Release Gifts
Chanukah is around the corner, and there are just three weeks until Christmas. The world is kicking into high gear for the holidays. It’s inescapable. The media, advertisers, merchants are targeting our children and us, pointing us towards their ultimate goal: buy buy buy. It’s no wonder that children across the country are whining and begging for stuff. But maybe it isn’t that stuff that makes the best holiday gifts…or makes the holidays memorable. Do you remember what you received when … [Read more...] about Time Release Gifts
It’s Hard to Shut Up
I finally figured it out. I have found the magic key for getting along with your adult children. Whatever comes into your head to say, don’t say it. This is especially true when those adult children become parents. Relationships are evolutionary. Parent-child is no exception. It starts in one place and over time ends up in quite another, or it should anyway. Parents’ roles adapt and shift with every change in the child’s development, keeping step with his need to sprout wings and fly … [Read more...] about It’s Hard to Shut Up
Throw Away Your Parenting Books
“I’m almost finished reading [parenting book],” the first-time mom confessed, “and I have to tell you, it’s really stressing me out!” “Well, don’t read it! ” I urged. “Just put it away.” (I think I actually suggested that she throw it away.) That’s kind of an odd recommendation from a parenting expert who has written two award winning parenting books.* But I meant it sincerely. It was the part about teaching young children foreign languages, Mandarin, in particular, that did her in and … [Read more...] about Throw Away Your Parenting Books