Finding the right words to use with children is undeniably powerful. But coming up with the “right” response in the moment, creating just the script that is called for can be challenging. In fact, knowing this led to writing my first book, Just Tell Me What to Say. Successful communication with children of all ages, however, is more than your words and your script, (and your tone, your facial expressions, your body language.) It is also about your timing. Most parents know, for example, … [Read more...] about Timing is Everything: Set yourself up for successful conversations with your child
Environmental influences
Oh No! Another Shooting to Talk to Kids About
Can this really be happening? Again? Every parent I know is feeling the same thing. The anxiety we already feel about our children’s safety when they are away from us is just getting worse and worse. The horror of the school shooting in Uvalde is, simply put, overwhelming. Too many times I have written blogs about how to talk with your child about shootings, school shootings in particular. This difference for me this time is the extent of my anger, my fury, my disgust, and my frustration. … [Read more...] about Oh No! Another Shooting to Talk to Kids About
Your Children and the War in Ukraine
When something “big” happens—a current or natural event-- I always write a blog, sharing with parents how to talk to their children about it. My website is filled with blog responses from over the last twenty years. I came very close to not writing a blog about the war in Ukraine, feeling like I have said it all. But I haven’t. My job is to help you help your children. This war in Ukraine is not going away quickly, as I prayed it would. The whole world is reacting. Children, elementary … [Read more...] about Your Children and the War in Ukraine
How Do You Know When You’re in Love?
“How do you know when you are in love, I mean in love for real?” my daughter asked when she was about 13 years old. I have never forgotten the question nor my answer. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, what better time to discuss? Over the years in my practice (and through my own kids’ growing years,) the questions of how children learn about love and relationships and what it’s all about have come up many times in many ways. Nothing is new. Parents have been teaching kids this … [Read more...] about How Do You Know When You’re in Love?
Re-Entry: Land the Helicopter!
Finally, our kids are emerging from a hibernation not of their choosing. Variations of in-person school are happening; sports teams are practicing; playdates with friends outside their pod have begun; kids are roaming in the village; parks are open. Finally, our kids get to stretch their wings…and fly solo. For some, school re-entry has been a challenge. Worries about friends, socializing, academic competence, and even separation surfaced. But for many, re-entry was a slam dunk. After … [Read more...] about Re-Entry: Land the Helicopter!
Children and Mistakes
Recently, I heard from a parent about her child who over reacts to his mistakes and accidents. The child is highly sensitive about doing something the “right way” or is worried about doing something wrong. Mistakes are a part of life and everyone makes them. Parents have a hand in helping their kids to get comfortable with this reality. What a critical lesson this is. The manner and degree to which a child processes and reacts to his mistakes, accidents, and missteps sometimes can be seen … [Read more...] about Children and Mistakes