Isn’t it amazing that as soon as the phone rings and you answer it, someone else needs you? This phenomenon, phonus interruptus, is pervasive in homes all across the country. Further, the more you tell your child that you are on the phone (as if he hasn’t noticed) and not to interrupt you, the more he attempts to interrupt you. “Mom...Mom...Excuse me!...Mom! I said ‘Excuse me!’” The phone is the enemy of the child. Let me restate that: The phone is the enemy of the child when you are on … [Read more...] about Excuse Me…Part II: Phonus Interruptus
Expectations
Roaring Back at the Tiger Mom
Was your parent one who asked, when you brought home an A-, “Why didn’t you get an A?” So many adults have a version of this tale to share. They have never forgotten it, twenty or thirty years later. Most children really do want their parents to be proud of them, proud for a variety of reasons. While we don’t actually remember the many times that they were, it is the composite of all those moments that contribute to the child feeling significant in his parents’ eyes. This is just one of the … [Read more...] about Roaring Back at the Tiger Mom
Excuse Me…and Dont’ Interrupt!
As often happens, over the weekend I ran into a client at the grocery store. Mid aisle we stopped for a brief greeting. As soon as the mom began to speak to me, her son piped up with, “Mom, Mom, can we get some Gatorade?” tugging at her jacket. “Please don’t interrupt me,” she calmly reminded her son and rewound the tape to complete her thought with me. “Excuse me. Excuse me, Mom? Mom? Excuse me.” he demanded. “Wait a minute, Steven. I am talking to Betsy,” Mom … [Read more...] about Excuse Me…and Dont’ Interrupt!
Your Child is “Shy” Around Strangers
An Interview with Betsy by Heidi Stevens of the Chicago Tribune Q: Your kindergartener is extremely shy around strangers. How do you get her to warm up to relatives she only sees at the holidays? Few topics are more complicated than family at the holidays, which is why Betsy Brown BraunÖ, author of “You're Not the Boss of Me: Brat-proofing Your Four- to Twelve-Year-Old Child” (Harper Paperbacks)Ö, suggests a four-pronged approach. No. 1. Change your language. “I never use the ‘s’ word,” … [Read more...] about Your Child is “Shy” Around Strangers
Be the Person You Want Your Child to Be
“You will not believe this story,” began the email from a client who had just returned from family services for the Jewish New Year. She described the mother and three children sitting next to her own family. “She was knitting!” (Yes, you read it correctly, knitting.) “And when she was done knitting, she pulled out her Blackberry and began texting.” I queried as to her guess of the ages of the children. Elementary and middle school, was her reply. There really isn’t more I need to write … [Read more...] about Be the Person You Want Your Child to Be
Call Off the Race
For months I’ve waited for the chance to see Race to Nowhere, an incredible documentary film. The trailer was circulated around the web ages ago and caught my eye. I tell you now, run, don’t walk, to see it. (www.racetonowhere.com). That’s how important it is. When the lights came on in the theater after the Saturday matinee, I stood up and said to the other 20 people in the pathetically empty theater, “Am I the only one who is crying?” Maybe it was the ending piece about teen suicide, or … [Read more...] about Call Off the Race