It’s hard enough to raise your own child—teaching him the rules of the road, guiding him as he learns how to “play nicely”—but what happens when a child who is not yours is in need of some pointed guidance (a swift kick in the pants, perhaps!)? You’re having a playdate, and the guest grabs a toy (your child’s favorite Thomas car) out of your child’s hands. The grabber’s mom observes without reaction. You’re at the park, and a girl you don’t know throws sand at your child. The sand … [Read more...] about Should You Discipline Someone Else’s Child?
A Parent Should Be A Parent…Not A Friend
Every time I hear a parent brag that her child is her best friend, I cringe and think, “Well, that’s too bad.” The job description of parent is mighty long—nurturer, teacher, advisor, consultant, guide, spotter, disciplinarian, consoler, cheerleader. But I am quite sure “friend” is not on the list. I fully believe that you really like your child, that there are times when you get along like peas and carrots, that you say you can read each other’s minds. But your child, whether young or … [Read more...] about A Parent Should Be A Parent…Not A Friend
Talking to Your Kids About the Disaster in Japan
As we all try to grasp the horror of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, you might be confronted by questions from your child. Children of different ages will require different responses from you. For all children, especially those six years and younger, I urge you to refer to the Chapter 11 in my book, Just Tell Me What To Say, which addresses how we answer young children’s questions about natural disasters. For older children, see below. The single most important message for … [Read more...] about Talking to Your Kids About the Disaster in Japan
The Unmentionable: Wiping Your Child
Sheepishly, the mom asked, “Should I still be wiping my seven year old’s tush after he makes a poop?” Some of you might be gasping in horror, but others of you are nodding in agreement as you wonder the same thing. The third time in a week that I was asked the question in a parenting group, I knew it was time to write about it: When should a child wipe his own bottom? Isn’t it funny that parents flock to my seminars on raising self reliant children…. and the next morning they run to wipe … [Read more...] about The Unmentionable: Wiping Your Child
Is It Time For Sleep-Away Camp?
On a cold, February day it’s hard to believe that it's time to start thinking about summer programs. It’s also the time when I receive a barrage of questions about sleep away camp. Most commonly, what is the right age for a child to go to sleep-away camp. The good news is that there are no rules about when and if a child should go to sleep-away camp. It is only common sense that reigns. In fact, often it is the parent who has more trouble allowing her child to go than the child not … [Read more...] about Is It Time For Sleep-Away Camp?
Excuse Me…Part II: Phonus Interruptus
Isn’t it amazing that as soon as the phone rings and you answer it, someone else needs you? This phenomenon, phonus interruptus, is pervasive in homes all across the country. Further, the more you tell your child that you are on the phone (as if he hasn’t noticed) and not to interrupt you, the more he attempts to interrupt you. “Mom...Mom...Excuse me!...Mom! I said ‘Excuse me!’” The phone is the enemy of the child. Let me restate that: The phone is the enemy of the child when you are on … [Read more...] about Excuse Me…Part II: Phonus Interruptus