Years ago, I walked into the 4 year olds’ nursery school classroom and watched Mimi, a fabulous, feisty, third born child, collect all the playdough from the other three children at the table. The three were shocked; one protested loudly. Mimi looked up at me and said, “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” “Mimi,” I said, “Sorry isn’t enough.” Every time I hear a parent insist that her child apologize to another, I cringe, and I think about Mimi. Sorry is not enough. Teaching a child to say I’m sorry … [Read more...] about What’s Wrong with “I’m Sorry?”
Knowing when is the “right age” to give permissions and allow age related activities challenges all parents, especially with that first born child. After all, it is often the parent’s first experience not only with a child of that age, but certainly with YOUR child of that age. In addition, it may not be something with which the parent hasn't had any experience, and she is traveling blindly. As is the case with most of parenting, there is not one clear cut answer to any question; there is not … [Read more...] about What is the Right Age to….
Now that the school year has begun, it won’t be long before one morning you’ll awaken to the declaration, “I don’t want to go to school.” It’s a cry, actually more of a plea, which every parent is likely to face at least once, if not ten times, each school year. It’s never music to your ears. Not wanting to go to school for the younger child or proclaiming “I’m not going to school” for the older ones, can challenge even the most savvy parent. How easy life would be if there were a one size … [Read more...] about “I Don’t Want To Go To School!”
It’s hard enough to raise your own child—teaching him the rules of the road, guiding him as he learns how to “play nicely”—but what happens when a child who is not yours is in need of some pointed guidance (a swift kick in the pants, perhaps!)? You’re having a playdate, and the guest grabs a toy (your child’s favorite Thomas car) out of your child’s hands. The grabber’s mom observes without reaction. You’re at the park, and a girl you don’t know throws sand at your child. The sand … [Read more...] about Should You Discipline Someone Else’s Child?
Every time I hear a parent brag that her child is her best friend, I cringe and think, “Well, that’s too bad.” The job description of parent is mighty long—nurturer, teacher, advisor, consultant, guide, spotter, disciplinarian, consoler, cheerleader. But I am quite sure “friend” is not on the list. I fully believe that you really like your child, that there are times when you get along like peas and carrots, that you say you can read each other’s minds. But your child, whether young or … [Read more...] about A Parent Should Be A Parent…Not A Friend
I answered the door at 10:00 a.m. Sunday morning, to find a good looking, gray haired gentleman. “Yes?” I said, somewhat perturbed that my racing to set up for the 12:30 p.m event was being interrupted. “I am Jeff Hearn” said the guest who was supposed to have arrived at that 12:30 start time. “You’re Jeff Hearn?” I choked, incredulous, not having seen Jeff since he was an 11 year old classmate, graduating from sixth grade at UES. (I also wondered if he never learned to tell time after 50 … [Read more...] about Fifty Years Later