“Mother always liked you best” claimed Tommy Smothers of the old comedy duo of the 60’s and 70’s, The Smothers Brothers. They were comedians, but that gag struck a chord, as the audience laughed and cried at the same time. “Who do you love the most?” No matter how it comes out, every child who has a sibling wonders and worries about which child plays the starring role in his parent’s heart. Favorites are tricky business, and the topic has a lot of press recently. In both a study … [Read more...] about Playing Favorites
The emails were all the same: “I just can’t stop crying…my daughter hasn’t even been gone for 24 hours, and I miss her already.” wrote the mother whose ten year old was off to sleep away camp for the first time. “The house is so quiet. At first I loved it, but now I am so ready for him to be home,” confessed the mother of a nine year old boy off to two weeks at camp in the mountains. You wonder if your child is really ready for sleep away camp, when the question really should be, are you … [Read more...] about Life is Full of Separations
It’s hard not to love the movie Babies. That’s what I chose to do for my Mothers’ Day observance. It was kind of like eating chocolate… all good! There were none of the not-so-fun parts of babies, like colic and diarrhea and sleepless nights. Just one oooo and ahhhhh after another. But the cute is not what stuck with me. Several days later, I am thinking about the stark contrast in the way the Japanese and the American babies were parented compared to the African and Mongolian babies. The … [Read more...] about Leave the Babies Alone?
With your first born child, it’s pretty easy to control his diet of everything—sugar, television, war toys, choice of friends—for the first few years anyway. But then he hits school age, somewhere after five years old, kindergarten age, and the once controlling parent begins to question some of her controls. My child is the only one who doesn't...and now you fill in the blank. Most parents know that they are fighting a losing battle if they are too orthodox about their restrictions. Never … [Read more...] about The “Right” Age for Video Games
With Valentine’s Day always comes lots of talk about love. I love you, Mommy. I love my teacher. I love chocolate. I love making Valentines. Kids are exposed to the word the moment the cord is cut in the delivery room. And it is reinforced and expanded over and over throughout their growing years Daddy loves you. See you after school…remember, I love you. But truth be told, love is a complicated concept. It’s just not as easy as it sounds. When I work with parents who are separating … [Read more...] about What’s Love Got To Do With It?
This time of year when teachers ask their young children what each is thankful for, a good 90% respond enthusiastically, "My mommy!" It's not only that kids are copycats, saying just what the child before him has said, it's also that kids get it. They really are thankful for their mommies. (Forgive me, Dads. I am taking editorial license for the purpose of this blog. But I do not for a minute underestimate your importance and love for and by your children.) Forever, the mother-child bond … [Read more...] about The Height of Mother Love