It’s hard enough to raise your own child—teaching him the rules of the road, guiding him as he learns how to “play nicely”—but what happens when a child who is not yours is in need of some pointed guidance (a swift kick in the pants, perhaps!)? You’re having a playdate, and the guest grabs a toy (your child’s favorite Thomas car) out of your child’s hands. The grabber’s mom observes without reaction. You’re at the park, and a girl you don’t know throws sand at your child. The sand … [Read more...] about Should You Discipline Someone Else’s Child?
Parenting
A Parent Should Be A Parent…Not A Friend
Every time I hear a parent brag that her child is her best friend, I cringe and think, “Well, that’s too bad.” The job description of parent is mighty long—nurturer, teacher, advisor, consultant, guide, spotter, disciplinarian, consoler, cheerleader. But I am quite sure “friend” is not on the list. I fully believe that you really like your child, that there are times when you get along like peas and carrots, that you say you can read each other’s minds. But your child, whether young or … [Read more...] about A Parent Should Be A Parent…Not A Friend
The Unmentionable: Wiping Your Child
Sheepishly, the mom asked, “Should I still be wiping my seven year old’s tush after he makes a poop?” Some of you might be gasping in horror, but others of you are nodding in agreement as you wonder the same thing. The third time in a week that I was asked the question in a parenting group, I knew it was time to write about it: When should a child wipe his own bottom? Isn’t it funny that parents flock to my seminars on raising self reliant children…. and the next morning they run to wipe … [Read more...] about The Unmentionable: Wiping Your Child
Is It Time For Sleep-Away Camp?
On a cold, February day it’s hard to believe that it's time to start thinking about summer programs. It’s also the time when I receive a barrage of questions about sleep away camp. Most commonly, what is the right age for a child to go to sleep-away camp. The good news is that there are no rules about when and if a child should go to sleep-away camp. It is only common sense that reigns. In fact, often it is the parent who has more trouble allowing her child to go than the child not … [Read more...] about Is It Time For Sleep-Away Camp?
Excuse Me…Part II: Phonus Interruptus
Isn’t it amazing that as soon as the phone rings and you answer it, someone else needs you? This phenomenon, phonus interruptus, is pervasive in homes all across the country. Further, the more you tell your child that you are on the phone (as if he hasn’t noticed) and not to interrupt you, the more he attempts to interrupt you. “Mom...Mom...Excuse me!...Mom! I said ‘Excuse me!’” The phone is the enemy of the child. Let me restate that: The phone is the enemy of the child when you are on … [Read more...] about Excuse Me…Part II: Phonus Interruptus
Roaring Back at the Tiger Mom
Was your parent one who asked, when you brought home an A-, “Why didn’t you get an A?” So many adults have a version of this tale to share. They have never forgotten it, twenty or thirty years later. Most children really do want their parents to be proud of them, proud for a variety of reasons. While we don’t actually remember the many times that they were, it is the composite of all those moments that contribute to the child feeling significant in his parents’ eyes. This is just one of the … [Read more...] about Roaring Back at the Tiger Mom