It’s hard enough to raise your own child—teaching him the rules of the road, guiding him as he learns how to “play nicely”—but what happens when a child who is not yours is in need of some pointed guidance (a swift kick in the pants, perhaps!)? You’re having a playdate, and the guest grabs a toy (your child’s favorite Thomas car) out of your child’s hands. The grabber’s mom observes without reaction. You’re at the park, and a girl you don’t know throws sand at your child. The sand … [Read more...] about Should You Discipline Someone Else’s Child?
Parent as teacher
A Parent Should Be A Parent…Not A Friend
Every time I hear a parent brag that her child is her best friend, I cringe and think, “Well, that’s too bad.” The job description of parent is mighty long—nurturer, teacher, advisor, consultant, guide, spotter, disciplinarian, consoler, cheerleader. But I am quite sure “friend” is not on the list. I fully believe that you really like your child, that there are times when you get along like peas and carrots, that you say you can read each other’s minds. But your child, whether young or … [Read more...] about A Parent Should Be A Parent…Not A Friend
The Unmentionable: Wiping Your Child
Sheepishly, the mom asked, “Should I still be wiping my seven year old’s tush after he makes a poop?” Some of you might be gasping in horror, but others of you are nodding in agreement as you wonder the same thing. The third time in a week that I was asked the question in a parenting group, I knew it was time to write about it: When should a child wipe his own bottom? Isn’t it funny that parents flock to my seminars on raising self reliant children…. and the next morning they run to wipe … [Read more...] about The Unmentionable: Wiping Your Child
The Gift That Keeps On Giving
Every year my friend Freida gives me a surprising gift. Far out pop-up books, foodstuffs from the Homeboy Industries-Homegirl Catering and Kitchen, DVD’s of documentaries I might have missed. But this year’s is the best: Of Thee I Sing: A letter to my daughters by Barack Obama. I have been hearing about this book since its release, but shame on me for not reading it until now. It is my loss. Don’t let it be yours. Of Thee I Sing, a beautifully, joyfully illustrated book, will drop you … [Read more...] about The Gift That Keeps On Giving
Join the Family
The “perfect” family—mom, dad, and two girls probably ages 6 and 9—sat across from my husband and me as we dined at a local restaurant to launch our weekend As hard as I try, when I am out in the world I cannot help but notice families. It is my passion and my life’s work, and I am just selectively perceptive to parents and kids wherever I go. Knowing them doesn’t matter, (but it is the icing on the cake.) The girls were adorable. The older one, on the quiet side, seemed calm, centered, … [Read more...] about Join the Family
Be the Person You Want Your Child to Be
“You will not believe this story,” began the email from a client who had just returned from family services for the Jewish New Year. She described the mother and three children sitting next to her own family. “She was knitting!” (Yes, you read it correctly, knitting.) “And when she was done knitting, she pulled out her Blackberry and began texting.” I queried as to her guess of the ages of the children. Elementary and middle school, was her reply. There really isn’t more I need to write … [Read more...] about Be the Person You Want Your Child to Be